Melanie Studley | Understanding the Anatomy of Marriage

Melanie Studley | Understanding the Anatomy of Marriage

Gina is joined by Melanie Studley, fellow podcast creator and advocate for helping troubled marriages. On today’s episode, Melanie shares her story on the once unhealthy marriage between her and her husband, Seth, who listeners should expect to see in a future Revitalized Womanhood episode. From learning from her own experience, Melanie created a community to help women who struggle in their marriages, giving them resources and advice that isn’t so “vanilla,” like other marriage counseling resources. Gina and Melanie dissect some of the most frequent complaints of wives that Melanie receives, and even share some personal experiences that tie into these core topics and conversations!

On this episode:

(0:30) Gina introduces today’s topics and guest, Melanie, and her excitement for the discussion of all things marriage.

(2:50) Gina welcomes Melanie to Revitalized Womanhood.

(3:40) Melanie begins to tell listeners about her and her husband Seth's journey in marriage, beginning shortly after the birth of their first baby.

(4:45) In an attempt to rekindle a marriage that had turned harmful, Melanie and Seth began their first podcast, Anatomy of Marriage, now known as Anatomy of Us to dissect what had gone wrong.

(7:00) Gina inquires about both Melanie and Seth’s communities they’ve created, Melanie’s being called Women’s Group Coaching and Seth’s being the Badass Husband Mastermind.

(9:15) Melanie goes into more about the specifics of the different women’s groups that she runs, and a retreat she ran recently just this past August.

(13:00) Gina asks about women’s top five complaints in regards to their marriages that Melanie receives in her coaching groups, the first being that their husbands do not help out as much as they’d like.

(15:25) Melanie explains cognitive load, the second complaint she receives the most.

(16:45) Melanie describes the concept of strategic or weaponized incompetence and unspoken expectations.

(17:55) The third complaint: “Whose family are we loyal to–yours, mine, or ours?”

(18:50) The fourth complaint: the idea of prioritizing marriage.

(23:00) Continuing on the topic of prioritizing marriage, Gina compares the situation as like constantly making withdrawals, without getting any help, or deposits, from the husband.

(23:40) The fifth and final most received complaint is that women’s husbands do not value them and their contributions.

(25:10) Gina shares her own experience with feeling valued and unvalued within her marriage.

(27:00) Melanie discusses some of the core questions and conversations that she strives to address in her business that couples of all ages struggle with.

(29:10) Melanie’s overarching goal, she explains, is to bridge the gap between the husband and the wife to create resources that are applicable and helpful to them both and their marriage.

(31:25) Melanie shares a parenting tip about using “the clock as the bad guy”, which can be applicable to marriages.

(32:40) Gina talks about being a scapegoat in marriage.

(35:30) Melanie outlines her newest tool for marriages, which entails a chronological map or planner to follow throughout the day.

(40:00) Melanie breaks down the concept of strategic weaponized incompetence,

(42:45) Returning back to the topic of valuing each other in a relationship, Gina and Melanie discuss feeling devalued in marriages and its impact.

(47:10) Joining a coaching group and working on a marriage requires self management.

(49:15) Having self management can also impact parenting, Melanie shares, because children learn by observation.

(50:50) Gina and Melanie talk about the benefits of therapy and one-on-one coaching.

(53:10) Talking tough love, Gina emphasizes being able to accept and apply the advice that is given in coaching groups.

(56:00) Gina and Melanie return to the complaint of the concept of “whose family?”; Melanie’s program, “Back to Basics Bootcamp” addresses this and more, and can be found on her website.

(1:01:00) Gina gives her own example of the concept of adapting to and accepting your spouse’s family traditions and lifestyle.

(1:03:40) Going back to prioritizing marriage, Gina and Melanie each share their perspective by talking about their own traditions within their marriages.

(1:08:50) Melanie asks Gina her perspective on what women can do to improve their marriages. Gina emphasizes self esteem, genuinity, and valuing oneself.

(1:11:40) Melanie elaborates on feeling valued by not only yourself, but by your family and parents.

(1:15:00) Melanie introduces the concept of imagining something in order to succeed in that goal, i.e., imagining herself being nice to her husband in order to actually be nice to her husband.

(1:17:00) Melanie and Seth’s website is where you can find the Anatomy of Us podcast coaching, and groups. Their Instagram handle is @anatomyofmarriage.

(1:17:45) Gina closes today’s episode by asking for feedback from her listeners: what struck a nerve from this episode?
(1:19:00) Gina’s Revitalized Sisterhood is still accepting members, check it out at!




Back to blog

Leave a comment

Please note, comments need to be approved before they are published.